Nobody Knows Anything

No cinema visits again this week. I’m gonna miss ‘em. It’s not good. At least nobody famous in the film world died this week so I don’t have to pay tribute to them.

The Abyss (1989)

For the record, this was the Special Edition of the film with almost half an hour of mostly character related footage edited back in. I’ve always liked The Abyss, even though 20th Century Fox probably shouldn’t have given James Cameron quite as much freedom to realise a longheld childhood ambition to rip off both E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) and Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) – but underwater – as they did. However Cameron was the golden boy after the success of Aliens (1986), and Fox execs suffered a similar rush of blood to the head as that experienced by the execs at United Artists who greenlit Heaven’s Gate (1980) in the wake of The Deer Hunter (1978).

Match Point (2005)

Finally got around to seeing whether or not Woody Allen’s return to form was real or not. Answer: yes. And then no British release for Scoop (2006), which he made a year later. One of the things that I remember the film being criticised for was its lack of, for want of a better phrase, working class people. As if Woody Allen was going to relocate to London to make a film about market traders or bus drivers. Instead he sticks to the world he knows best, that of the moneyed elite. And does Woody Allen have interesting things to say about the hypocrisy, laissez faire attitudes and moral corruption of the moneyed elite? Oh yes he does. So it seems rather stupid to criticise the film for what it’s not, doesn’t it? But then I find this is a common form of criticism from people who don’t understand art and how it functions. Shoot ‘em in the brain, that’s what I say, it’s the only way to be sure.

Ghost World (2001)

Intrigued by the Scarlett Johansson-ness of the previous film, I felt in need of more Scarlett, with added Thora Birch. I like Ghost World so much I own both R1 and R2 DVDs, since both have different and intriguing extras. There’s so much that’s great about Daniel Clowes’ original comic book that it would seem a highly unlikely subject for translation to the big screen. Terry Zwigoff didn’t have a problem though. The film is rammed with great, smart dialogue and nicely acerbic characterful performances.

Galaxy Quest (1999)

Perhaps a bit too inside for some, but since I’m reasonably familiar with the history of Star Trek and the world of sci-fi conventions, an awful lot of this film hits close to home. Only if you don’t know anything about this world would the film fall flat. This was also the first film where Missi Pyle drew my attention with the first of her many highly game out there comedic performances. She’s the younger generation’s Jennifer Coolidge and a face to watch out for.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

After the spoof, the real thing. There are few moments in cinema better than the revelation about halfway through that for Kirk there are indeed possibilities, and James Horner hits the highpoint of his score in the moments that follow. Although I pride myself on defying received wisdom, I do fall into line on the Star Trek movies: the even numbered ones are the best ones. This should be of some concern to JJ Abrams, who is currently signed to direct Star Trek Eleven. Uh oh.

Solaris (2002)

After the real thing, a real movie. Solaris’ modest box office performance seems particularly puzzling until you see the theatrical trailer, which basically promises Aliens 2, a slam bang, slam dunk summer action movie, and Solaris is anything but that. Because it’s science fiction though, fandom will give the film an afterlife in the after market (if indeed that hasn’t already started to happen). In a world of ersatz blockbusters, this is once again the genuine article, a harsh film about tough issues with a career-best performance from George Clooney.

The Oscars were a bit disappointing this year. It’s not very impressive when the big shock category is Best Original Song. As is traditional, at least with me, I get up early and watch the Oscars live rather than suffering through later highlights programmes. We could really really do with the Oscars back on the BBC because Sky’s presentation was absolutely terrible. How does this Claudia Winkleman get the work?

Infernal Affairs II (2003)

Following the Oscar winning success of The Departed (I am not going to add to the chorus of disapproval that greeted this decision; I thought The Departed was excellent and in 10 years time everyone’s going to have come round to my point of view, as per usual; people didn’t think Casino was much cop back in 1995 because it was three hours long, very dense, and bombarded you with information; people have come round to Casino and are now generally agreed that it’s some kind of masterpiece; I knew back in 1995; wake up, people!), I thought it was time to check out the two sequels. Or rather the prequel and III which is half prequel and half sequel. Boy oh boy do you have to keep your head straight about who’s on screen and doing what to whom and where their allegiances lie. With every single character and every single plot point.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

They say that there are only seven stories in the world. This is the eighth. What continues to impress about this film is both how funny it is and how it’s one of the most atypical video game director makes his first movie movies. Charlie’s Angels it is not. I had contemplated writing Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich here.

Adaptation. (2002)

Note how I made sure there was a full stop above? Attention to detail. I like the way the film becomes in the second half what it attacks and dismisses in the first as Donald Kaufman takes over the script.

Infernal Affairs III (2003)

And everything becomes even more confusing. I’ve been reading plot synopses on the net and I’m still not sure what the hell was going on. Having been primed by the first two films not to trust anyone, I was now in such a lingering state of uncertainty that I became convinced that maybe the psychiatrist did it, maybe she was behind it all.

Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

I guess my Jennifer Tilly obsession started with The Fabulous Baker Boys, where she played the role of the uniquely unmusical singing waitress to perfection. Two things I know about Jennifer Tilly. 1) In this film, Woody Allen’s direction to her was, “Never stop talking.” And she doesn’t. 2) If you manage to get Jennifer Tilly in your movie, you must have her turn up for the audio commentary. The track on Bride of Chucky where she appears alongside Brad Dourif and Don Mancini is more entertaining than the film; she shows up late on the Bound commentary (where you will discover why the Wachowskis recorded no commentaries for The Matrix Trilogy) and brightens up the track hilarilously.

2010 (1984)

Along with Red October, it’s amusing to look back on this movie three years short of the date in which it’s set. Everybody’s got these big ass computer monitors the size of 40 inch CRTs and everything’s been backlit because that was the cinematography fashion of the time. Yet in some ways I like 2010 more than 2001; I know that in some ways the film has a hokey kind of message (why can’t we all just get along?) but to me at least back when the film came out I thought this was an important thing to say, and I still do.

The Haunting (1963)

Apparently there’s a remake of this. Robert Wise accomplishes more with $1.1 million and nothing resembling a special effect than Jan De Bont with an estimated $80 million worth of CGI. You tell me how that can be right. The remake of this movie is on a big list of films I will never see alongside The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Batman and Robin, First Knight, Pearl Harbor, The Bodyguard and Dirty Dancing etc. I have a weakness for some trashy movies but at least they were made with honesty and intensity. My big list of movies I will never see is full of fakery and bullshit.

So the message is this: watch less. Choose more carefully.