Nobody Knows Anything

One cinema visit this week, marked with a *.

An unusually small selection as I was watching a lot of DVD extras, and I only count such things as watched films if I actually watch the films themselves.

Pandora’s Box (1929)

Let’s talk about Showgirls (1995). Wait a minute, aren’t I meant to have something to say about an acknowledged classic of the Weimar cinema of the 1920s in Germany? What does that have to do with Paul Verhoeven and Joe Eszterhaus’ notorious sleaze-fest? Quite a lot, as it turns out. Strange as it may seem today when Pandora’s Box and most especially its star, Louise Brooks, and even more especially, the character she plays, Lulu, and the way Lulu looks, have become icons of world cinema, but there was a period when Pandora’s Box was as reviled in its time as Showgirls was in the wake of its release. Outside Germany, it was subject to a great deal of censorship with any references to lesbianism being toned down and a happy ending being imposed upon it. Inside Germany, it was treated with a kind of resigned contempt. For Pandora’s Box was that most contemporary of filmland vices: the apparently unnecessary remake. An earlier version of the same story had been filmed in 1921 with Asta Nielsen, and by all accounts it contained a lot of the standard excesses of poor silent film making, including hysterical overacting and simplistic moralising. The 1929 film’s director, GW Pabst, had also had the temerity to cast an American actress as ‘our’ German Lulu; remember the hysterical overreaction to the casting of Renée Zellweger as Bridget Jones and you’ll have some idea of the revulsion with which this choice was received. Fast forward 25 years and the film was being acclaimed as a work of genius by the French, naturally enough, especially by the legendary head of the Cinémathèque Française, Henry Langlois, who famously declared, “There is no Garbo! There is no Dietrich! There is only Louise Brooks!”Back to Showgirls. Among the enormous number of things that people don’t appreciate about Showgirls is that on a number of levels, it approaches its subject with a dead on documentary accuracy. It’s particularly pertinent on the exploitative relationships between men and women in a business based on exploitation. Everybody uses everybody else for their own ends, and are fully able to justify the callousness of their means. Showgirls is really a satire of capitalism, and yet it’s also prophetic: it’s impossible to watch the film now and not see prototypical Nomi Malones everywhere 12 years down the line, desperately seeking their 15 minutes of fame while actually being every bit as shallow and empty as their unknown forebear.

Pandora’s Box was fresh and new in 1929. It’s a truly modernist work, unbothered with matters of taste or acceptability. Louise Brooks probably isn’t the first naturalistic actor to appear in silent films, but she’s certainly the actor most famous for performing in a more underplayed style. What amazed me about the film on this viewing (which may be my second time; the first may have been a completely silent screening back at university if you can imagine) was how fast it moved and how completely compelling it was. It’s one of those long films that seems shorter. It took time for Pandora’s Box to be appreciated, but greatness will out. Showgirls isn’t there yet, but it’s on the way.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

I’ve always liked the first Star Trek film. Although I pride myself on not going along with received opinion (I think the two sequels to The Matrix are brilliant, I love Titanic, I prefer the supposedly crass Hollywood remake of The Ring to the supposedly superior Japanese original Ringu, and so on), I do fall in line on the Star Trek movies: it is absolutely true that the best ones are the even numbered ones: 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 and the worse ones are the odd numbers: 1, 3, 5, 7, 9. JJ Abrams has a big task ahead of him: his reinvention of Star Trek will be the 11th movie, and he probably knows that there’s never been a really great odd numbered Star Trek movie. Except the first one. I understand all the complaints. Yes, the film is too long, too boring, too respectful, too old, too Gene Roddenberry. But I don’t care about any of it. Those endless special effects shots of the journey into Vger that have other people yawning are what I find most compelling. If a film just gets you on some deep and personal level, there’s no going back, you’ll always love it. No matter what. It’s almost beyond reason. I’ve loved this film since I was 12, and I’ll love it till the day I die.

300 (2007) *

I’m a Frank Miller fan. Obviously I have the original comics. Obviously I loved it. Frank Miller must be so happy that he’s had two unreservedly great films made from his creator owned comics work after all the other disastrous experiences he’s had in Hollywood when he was employed as just a writer. I’ve just reread William Golding’s short piece The Hot Gates, about his visit in the early 1960s to the site of the real battle. Here’s what doesn’t quite come across in the film: the Athens of the time was about thirty years away from becoming the beacon of democracy, art, science and philosophy that forms the foundations of Western culture today. It is no exaggeration to say that if the Persian attack had succeeded, we would all be living in a very different world. What Leonidas and his 300 Spartans (and the hundreds of other Greeks who fought alongside him) achieved was to send a signal to the rest of the city states in Greece who were warring amongst theselves that they should unite against a common enemy. And when the Greeks did this, the enemy was duly defeated at the battle of Plataea and Athens was born. How does Golding put it? “A little of Leonidas lies in the fact that I can go where I like and write what I like. He contributed to set us free.” Plus decapitations, a big ass rhinoceros and seas of blood. Very cool. We march.

There’s a very small chance of me ever writing anything negative about any of the films here since I’ve either made a conscious decision to go to the cinema to see them, or I’ve made an equally conscious decision to buy them on DVD and it’s very unusual for me to watch a film without wanting to. This is also a plus because films are a lot harder to praise than they are to pick apart. By the way, The Departed is genius.

One Hour Photo (2002)

For some reason, Robin Williams decided he’d had enough of playing the same part for a decade (you know, the child inside the man) and that it might be a really good idea if he started to demonstrate his range as an actor instead of repeato ditto. Presumably because there was a shortage of stage-trained British actors in Hollywood in 2001, two very different villain parts came his way and he jumped at them. Amusingly, in his audio commentary with Robin Williams, the director Mark Romanek refers to this film as his debut, when it is so not. Mark Romanek’s true debut feature was Static (1985), on which he was co-director with Keith Gordon, probably most famous for playing Brian De Palma as a teenager in Dressed To Kill (1980). Static is really really good, but it’s pretty impossible to find. In the 17 years between these two films, Romanek established himself in the world of music videos (see The Work of Director Mark Romanek in the Directors Label series). Thankfully, his second movie only takes the good parts from the music video genre (intense stylisation) and not the bad (fast cutting, inability to work with actors or direct way out of wet paper bag, eg. McG, Michael Bay et al).

Insomnia (2002)

Among the treats of this film: a good performance from Hilary Swank in a supporting role; Christopher Nolan’s commentary which rearranges (more or less) the whole movie in the order of filming and makes you appreciate just how good Al Pacino’s ability to convey the successive stages of insomnia really is since scenes were filmed wildly out of continuity; Robin Williams as a really nice bad guy.

Mulholland Dr. (2001)

Stop reading this right now and go out and buy this film on DVD and watch it immediately. It will change your life.

Sideways (2004)

Here’s the thing. Why didn’t Virginia Madsen become one of the biggest movie stars in the world? She looked spectacular and she was a great actress, and yet it just didn’t happen for her. It’s almost like she was too beautiful for fame, and somebody picked Demi Moore and her insipid psychobabble instead. There’s an engaging lack of vanity to Madsen’s performance in this film; there’s no attempt to hide her age and it only serves to highlight her beauty. An actual movie for adults by adults starring adults.

Zoolander (2001)

In a world of obsessive celebrity worship and reality television, where we’re now past celebrities famous for being famous into fake celebrities who weren’t famous in the first place, there is only one film that has taken a stance against uneducated morons with perfumes to hock and ghostwritten autobios: Zoolander. It’s the new Spinal Tap. Everybody loves them some Zoolander. It even has Paris Hilton in it.

No cinema visits this week.

Devil in a Blue Dress (1995)

It’s Denzel. In a vest. In the 40s.

The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)

So I finally did what I’ve been saying to myself for a few years I was going to do: I watched the extended versions of all three Rings films in one day. I almost made it too, I got to halfway through the 3rd film before I had to retire sleepy and watch the remainder the next day. Since the 21st Century began, I’ve only encountered three films that are unquestionable masterpieces that are going to be debated and discussed and watched for decades, and they are Mulholland Drive, Irreversible and The Lord of the Rings, which I most certainly count as one film. I didn’t see anything in my little marathon session to make me change my opinion. Hobbits aren’t for everyone, but those people who use them as an excuse not to imbibe really don’t know what they’re missing.

State and Main (2000)

It seems odd that Rebecca Pidgeon should have married David Mamet. She was in a group called Ruby Blue in the 1980s; I have one 12 inch single of theirs. It seems odder still that not only does Mamet cast his wife in his films, but that she should be so damned good. This is one of those Hollywood goes to town and makes a movie movies, so it’s full of jokes that are a little inside. And since it’s Mamet, it’s full of people being beastly to one another.

Heist (2001)

Rebecca Pidgeon turns up again here naturally enough, her hair cut short, her character a whole lot more mercenary. One of the pleasures of this film is seeing it as a kind of harder edged remix of Get Shorty, since it stars Gene Hackman, Danny DeVito and Delroy Lindo, and has a key early role for Sam Rockwell. There are few things better than watching great actors tearing strips off each other at a furious pace. And there are few writers better at delivering this than David Mamet.

The Big Lebowski (1998)

I’ve never liked Withnail and I. Never having been a great imbiber myself, nor having lived like a student in some horrendous bedsit slum, I’ve never seen the appeal of a celebration of losers who spend all their time drinking. Which perhaps makes me closer to the other Lebowski. I’ve never really liked The Big Lebowski though I’m starting to warm to it since I’m starting to appreciate it for what it is, rather than what it’s not. Sometimes films don’t reveal themselves to you properly first time around because you’re concentrating on the plot so hard, you don’t leave yourself open to whatever else the film may be offering you. It’s only on a 2nd or 3rd viewing when you know the plot that the incidentals of character or humour or insight start to break through.

Spartan (2003)

I appear to have had a mini David Mamet season this week. This film marks a major break in his filmography as it takes in bits and bobs from the action movie genre. It’s still full of guys saying things like, “The way it’s gonna be is the way it’s gonna be,” and breaking people’s arms. But it’s in widescreen, it’s unrelenting and it’s not polite. Although no one actually comes out and says it, this seems to be a film about the kidnapping of the daughter of the President of the United States. She might be a senator’s daughter, or even a congressman’s, but if I was paying enough attention, I don’t think anyone outright comes out and says it. The other thing is that Val Kilmer is back from the wilderness.

The Oscars were a bit disappointing this year. It’s not very impressive when the big shock category is Best Original Song. As is traditional, at least with me, I get up early and watch the Oscars live rather than suffering through later highlights programmes. We could really really do with the Oscars back on the BBC because Sky’s presentation was absolutely terrible. How does this Claudia Winkleman get the work?

Infernal Affairs II (2003)

Following the Oscar winning success of The Departed (I am not going to add to the chorus of disapproval that greeted this decision; I thought The Departed was excellent and in 10 years time everyone’s going to have come round to my point of view, as per usual; people didn’t think Casino was much cop back in 1995 because it was three hours long, very dense, and bombarded you with information; people have come round to Casino and are now generally agreed that it’s some kind of masterpiece; I knew back in 1995; wake up, people!), I thought it was time to check out the two sequels. Or rather the prequel and III which is half prequel and half sequel. Boy oh boy do you have to keep your head straight about who’s on screen and doing what to whom and where their allegiances lie. With every single character and every single plot point.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

They say that there are only seven stories in the world. This is the eighth. What continues to impress about this film is both how funny it is and how it’s one of the most atypical video game director makes his first movie movies. Charlie’s Angels it is not. I had contemplated writing Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich here.

Adaptation. (2002)

Note how I made sure there was a full stop above? Attention to detail. I like the way the film becomes in the second half what it attacks and dismisses in the first as Donald Kaufman takes over the script.

Infernal Affairs III (2003)

And everything becomes even more confusing. I’ve been reading plot synopses on the net and I’m still not sure what the hell was going on. Having been primed by the first two films not to trust anyone, I was now in such a lingering state of uncertainty that I became convinced that maybe the psychiatrist did it, maybe she was behind it all.

Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

I guess my Jennifer Tilly obsession started with The Fabulous Baker Boys, where she played the role of the uniquely unmusical singing waitress to perfection. Two things I know about Jennifer Tilly. 1) In this film, Woody Allen’s direction to her was, “Never stop talking.” And she doesn’t. 2) If you manage to get Jennifer Tilly in your movie, you must have her turn up for the audio commentary. The track on Bride of Chucky where she appears alongside Brad Dourif and Don Mancini is more entertaining than the film; she shows up late on the Bound commentary (where you will discover why the Wachowskis recorded no commentaries for The Matrix Trilogy) and brightens up the track hilarilously.

2010 (1984)

Along with Red October, it’s amusing to look back on this movie three years short of the date in which it’s set. Everybody’s got these big ass computer monitors the size of 40 inch CRTs and everything’s been backlit because that was the cinematography fashion of the time. Yet in some ways I like 2010 more than 2001; I know that in some ways the film has a hokey kind of message (why can’t we all just get along?) but to me at least back when the film came out I thought this was an important thing to say, and I still do.

The Haunting (1963)

Apparently there’s a remake of this. Robert Wise accomplishes more with $1.1 million and nothing resembling a special effect than Jan De Bont with an estimated $80 million worth of CGI. You tell me how that can be right. The remake of this movie is on a big list of films I will never see alongside The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Batman and Robin, First Knight, Pearl Harbor, The Bodyguard and Dirty Dancing etc. I have a weakness for some trashy movies but at least they were made with honesty and intensity. My big list of movies I will never see is full of fakery and bullshit.

So the message is this: watch less. Choose more carefully.