The Tuxedo (2002) August 23, 2008
Posted by Cal in : Comedy, Action, 2000s films , trackbackDirector: Kevin Donovan Main Cast: Jackie Chan; Jennifer Love Hewitt; Richie Coster; Jason Isaacs Territory: USA
A bottled water organisation stumbles onto the idea of holding the world to ransom by producing water that dehydrates the drinker. Super smooth agent Clark Devlin (Isaacs) is about to step up to the task of halting the operation when he is severely injured in an assassination attempt witnessed by his chauffer Jimmy Tong (Chan). Tong, collecting effects from Devlin’s house, tries his favourite evening attire on for size, only to find the tuxedo bestows fantastic powers on the wearer. Assuming Devlin’s identity, he meets with Devlin’s contact Del Blaine (Love Hewitt) and together they fight to stop the bio-terrorists.
There’s a definite sense of “come back Brett Ratner, all is forgiven” about The Tuxedo, a half-baked attempt at a comedy thriller. Chan was thrilled to work for Spielberg’s DreamWorks studio, but the reality is there are not many positives to be taken from the experience. The tone of the film is set right from the opening shot of a deer urinating into a river – a shot that has no point to it other than to be totally pointless.
Some Chan fans were concerned that Jackie’s family-friendly persona would be damaged by him wearing a “Hooters” sweatshirt and his references to a “wet dream” seem out of place coming from his lips. It’s possible he didn’t understand what he was being asked to do as, like in Rush Hour 3, one out-take has him delivering a risqué line, saying bemusedly afterwards: “must be terrible ‘cos everyone’s smiling”. It’s also surprising how bad his English is in this film. I’m guessing his voice-coach wasn’t up to the job, as Jackie is pretty unintelligible sometimes (although that could just be the scripting) and I’d consider myself quite familiar with his English speaking voice.
For a sidekick, he gets Jennifer Love Hewitt. Now, I must admit I’ve not seen her in anything before and I know next to nothing about her, but I’ve been told her breasts are a pretty big deal, a fact that’s reinforced by several nudge-nudge references throughout the whole movie. Maybe I’m missing the joke - I know this is a PG rated film and I don’t wish to be crude, but I couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. Worse, she fails to generate any chemistry where Chan’s concerned, and I wondered that perhaps they didn’t get on behind the scenes. However, the out-takes show she seemed to have had the time of her life with Chan, hardly able to keep a straight face for more than a few seconds at a time.
The story attempts to be a kind of James Bond-esque romp (Jackie even utters the line: “the name’s Tong – James Tong” at one point), but ends up being flat. The storyline about a kind of water that dehydrates as it is being drunk could have come out of a Moore-era Bond tale for sure, and Peter Stormare hams it up as the mad doctor Sims. But the execution of all aspects of the film lets it down. For instance, Tong is told by his new employer not to touch his tuxedo, and Tong seems to be the kind of guy who’ll keep his word (plus there’s a budding mutual respect growing between them). Upon his hospitalisation, Tong goes back to Devlin’s place and immediately tries the damn thing on – no explanation, nothing. While seeing him flail about destroying Devlin’s priceless collection of objet d’art is the highest point of the movie, the fact that he put the tuxedo on in the first place still mystifies me. As well as a totally pointless cameo by James Brown.
With Jackie getting on in years, I suppose we should be thankful if we get a shot of him even tying his shoelaces without using wires or CGI, but there really isn’t a lot here to impress. Apparently, Brad Allen was in amongst the stunt crew, but if he appears on screen, I missed him. Which just goes to show what a wasted opportunity this film was. Avoid.
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Not that either of them are classics but I never got why people always say, “At least it’s not as bad The Medallion.” For all its faults The Medallion had a few good moments but this is by far the worst Chan film I’ve seen.
Sounds like a coy recommendation from Heroes Of The East…
Chris: I think it’s a toss-up between this and RUSH HOUR 3 for the worst Chan film, for me. I hated NEW FIST OF FURY and THE KILLER METEORS, too but as I’ve only seen them once (and a long, long time ago) I’d have to see them again to be sure. Actually, NEW FIST OF FURY should be appearing here in the not-too-distant future. I’m rather interested how it’ll stand up these days. And you’re right, THE MEDALLION isn’t ALL bad, and can be quite fun in a very undemanding way.
Paul: Well, see it if you must. But even with low expectations (I tried to brace myself for the worst) it’s not very enjoyable. I’ve yet to encounter anyone who has anything really positive to say about the film…
I find this film entertaining personally. Rush Hour 3 on the other hand is absolutely appalling and by far the worst Chan film I’ve seen, making The Protector look like a masterpiece.
Ah, THE PROTECTOR - another travesty. I knew I’d forgotten something. I really must get around to watching the HK version again though. It’s not nearly as bad if I remember correctly.
New Fist of Fury is a major missed opportunity but the end fight was good. it certainly plays much better in its uncut Mandarin form as seen on the OOP Columbia DVD
And Killer Meteors is funnier than most genuine comedies!
“I hated NEW FIST OF FURY and THE KILLER METEORS”
I do not hate these as much. There is some good in both. I gave NEW FIST OF FURY a 5 and THE KILLER METEORS a 6 on HKMDB neither are great scores though.
Have you read my reviews there (or wait till you do a full review then we can compare
).
I was not a fan of THE TUXEDO, so I have tried to put much out of my mind. I would put most of the blame on Kevin Donovan, though the script could easily have been better and different actors would have helped also. I believe a good film could have been made with this material (ultimately I believe you can make a good movie about almost anything). JCs English didn’t bug me, but I’ll keep in mind if I rewatch.
Well, looks like I have to see KILLER METEORS again, now, too! I don’t remember finding any of it funny at the time (I nodded off a bit though) but I do tend to see the (unintentional) humour in films now. I didn’t like it mainly because Jackie was a bad guy (I thought he made a pretty bad villain) but I think I can get past that now. There’ll be a lot of Jackie’s Lo Wei films coming up soon - it’s been so long since I’ve seen them (and sometimes only once) that I felt the time was right to see them again.
I haven’t read your reviews yet Shawn, but I DID read your review for my next film on here and it was in a completely different place than the HKMDB! I did a Google search on a certain phrase and it took me straight to a review you wrote (for the HKMDB, I assume) in a post on a completely different Forum. To be honest, some of the review reads almost identical to yours, but I didn’t copy - I swear! It should be on tomorrow so you’ll see what I mean.
Getting back to THE TUXEDO Jackie’s English didn’t bug me, I just found it hard to understand him sometimes, and that’s not happened before.
Quick question on reviews in general: do you like to read reviews after or before you create your own particular essay (not counting reading reviews to movies you never want to review)?
Well, on the whole I try to avoid reviews directly before I’ve written my own if I’m going to do a review, although I sometimes have a quick peek these days after I noticed I wrote a plot synopsis for a review on the HKMDB that was nearly identical to one already published. It seriously looked like I copied it. After writing my bit, I do have a read of what others think.
Before I’ve watched a film I tend to read a few reviews as well, just to get the flavour of the film or whatever. It helps to brace myself sometimes
.