Curse of the Movie Collector May 7, 2007
Posted by Cal in : Articles, Humour , trackbackNo, this isn’t a review of a horror movie, although horror does play its part. Even if you’ve never seen a Hong Kong movie, you’ll probably find something familiar in the insanity that follows…
I was trawling through Play.com the other day when I noticed that a film called Fearless Hyena has recently been released by those nice folk at Hong Kong Legends. Hong Kong Legends (hereafter referred to as HKL) generally release the definitive versions of classic Hong Kong films (as the name implies, funnily enough) here in the UK. I tutted my annoyance as I’d only bought the HK version of this film only a few months ago. Then I thought, “hang on, I bought that on DVD before. And wasn’t this the film that…” and after a few minutes had this array on the floor by my PC:
Yes, I’ve got four different versions of this film. The first (on the left) was a VHS tape bought at an ex-rental shop for the princely sum of £5.00 back in 1993 (it was the only way you could get a copy then). The tape was quite worn and the transfer was pretty ropey, so after a year or two I took the unprecedented step of ordering a copy of the film from a mail-order firm in a magazine (this being long before the days of internet shopping and the global market). I sent off my cheque and waited the required 28 days for delivery. The result (see second from left) was a brand spanking new copy of Fearless Hyena. I was chuffed. However, upon watching said opus, I was rather disgruntled to discover that the film broke down about fifteen minutes from the end. There was then about five minutes of a blank screen and then the film came back, sort of showing a fast rewind until it got to the part where it left off. Not exactly conducive to a good viewing experience, this. Anyway, fast forward to the digital age (hurrah!) where I learn that Eastern Heroes have released the film. It’s still dubbed into English (booo!) but the box proclaims that it’s “Colour Enhanced & Digitally Re-Mastered for Higher Picture Resolution” (it isn’t) and a “16.9 Anamorphic version enhanced for widescreen television” (it isn’t that either – the top and bottom bits of the picture have simply been masked to give the impression of widescreen). Now I could probably go on for days about the frankly criminal shortcomings of Eastern Heroes, but as they have now gone the way of the dodo, there seems little point. Anyway, the box also proclaims “Interactive moving menus”, and this it has got, so we can all feel a little better about the situation. Needless to say, this particular version (see third from left) I never even bothered to watch. The fourth (right) is the Fortune Star version I bought last year. It’s in the original language (hurrah!), subtitled (double hurrah!) and genuinely remastered (gasp!). However, I noticed that the remastering process rendered some of the colours a little “artificial”, and of course the subtitles can’t match that of a western release. That HKL disc sure looks promising.
So there I am, my finger hovering over the “Add to Cart” button for the HKL DVD. And do you know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking, “you know what? I’m not even sure I like the film anymore”…
So did I buy the film for the fifth time? No, not yet. But when the sale comes…
It’s one thing to deliberately double-up on certain titles when better versions come along (besides, I find a pile of old/unwanted DVDs makes a nice place to hide all your Hsu Qi “modelling” discs and suchlike) but over the past year or so I’ve been increasingly troubled by the possibility of buying the same film again by accident.
Now this will probably only resonate with other fans of Hong Kong films as all of their English language titles seem to come from a vocabulary of only about 150 words. When browsing through lists I look at something like Shaolin Drunken Vole Vs The Evil Dead and I have to think to myself “have I got that?” It might be me getting older or something, but I’m not retaining the information as well as I used to. Next item on the list, Naked Cop 3 or whatever, and I’m sure I’ve got that. I even remember bits of it in my mind. But lo and behold, it’s nowhere to be seen and I realise I’ve been thinking about something else entirely. Likewise My Flying Auntie and We Love Deadly Dancing Millionaires. So I opt for the DVD version of Legendary Weapons of China as I haven’t upgraded from VHS yet…and then look up to see it on the shelf next to me. So I decide to quit while I’m ahead and have a lie down for a bit.
I’ve so far only bought the same film by accident once: Sammo Hung’s Spooky Encounters. For some reason, I thought it was going to be the sequel (which I soon discovered was called, rather confusingly I feel, Spooky Encounters 2). But as time goes on and the old grey cells disappear, it’s inevitable that this kind of thing is going to happen again sometime.
When it does, I hope I can be philosophical about it and think of it as just another ringer to help hide my pile of eastern nudeyness.
Comments»
It might interest you to know that the Fortune Star print of Fearless Hyena is cut slightly - very slightly - and the credits have been redone. The HKL print is the same but the subs are better
The Columbia Tristar version - now OOP - is a anamorphic 2.35:1 release BUT is rather poorly ordered, looking like an old beta masters with too much much edge enhancement slapped on. Worse, the subtitles are actually “dubtitles”, based on that awful English dub - and the dub for Fearless Hyena is truly awfulm compared to many of its contempoaries.
Heck, I’ve got 4 versions of New Fist Of Fury and none of them are very good. One VHS, the original EH DVD (cut by 10min and a full frame print cropped to “widescreen), the genuine widescreen EH reissue (poor) and the Columbia tristar release which is anamorphic widescreen and dual language (Mandarin and the correct English) but has a truncated title sequence. And now it seems HKLs will be Cantonese when it should be Mandarin. Will this maddness never end?
I can sympathise: Dawn of the Dead (78) I bought around 1990, the heavily censored EIV video, then 1992 I managed to get an uncut tape of the Argento version with crap picture quality (but it was uncut), then later still I picked up a video of the full length (Cannes) edit with even crapper picture quality (but even more uncut), followed by the AB US DVD of the theatrical version when the glorious digital age took hold, but it was non-anamorphic with mono sound, and finally the 4 disc Ultimate Edition (yeah!) DVD set, all three (proper) versions remastered, anamorphically enhanced, surround sound - surely that’s the last time I need to bloody-well buy one film?!? (at least until HD takes off anyway…)
James: I noticed the remastering of the credits - I can live with that. But cut?? Oh hell, looks like I’m going to have to buy that HKL version after all! I honestly didn’t notice, and I’ve seen the film quite a few times now. Oh well.
To be honest, I gave up on NFoF bloody ages ago - I’ve got a cut (by a few seconds, but it’s the principle of the thing) dubbed version and the VCD in Mandarin with no subs - both in fullscreen and looking pretty shoddy. I never bothered with the VCD and I’ve NEVER seen a subbed version of this film before, despite looking. It remains the only JC film I’ve only seen once, for this very reason. It seems very excessive cutting 10 minutes out though. What was cut??
Yes, ideally these HKL versions should be in Mandarin, but I think the Canto track’s the closest we’re ever going to get. I believe Drunken Master and Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow were originally shown primarily in Mandarin, and it bugged me a little to have to put up with the Cantonese version, but I was so glad to be able to ditch the English dubs once and for all…
Paul: Yeah, I wondered about your DotD collection: it’s bigger than some people’s entire DVD collection! I reckon you’ll shell out again though once HD or whatever comes along!
My Dawn collection only consists of the Ultimate Edition now - I sold the others at boot sales and stuff, no point hanging on to them owning the UE now.
I like the anecdote about Spooky Encounters ‘2′ - do distributors know no depths when it comes to trying to sell their sh*t to us? Things were worse in the video days though…
Snake In The Eagle’s Shadow and Drunken Master are Cantonese films. The HKL’s DVDs are in Mandarin for some reason
You’re right - can’t believe I got that the wrong way round! Well spotted.