The Big Whatsit

My ticket’s already booked. Next Thursday, I’ll be at the IMAX in Manchester to catch Zack Snyder’s 300, surely the best possible way to see this explosion of a movie. I confess I’m desperate to find out what it’s like. Always a fan of big-scale pictures, there are various reasons why I’m getting excited about this one - I love Greek mythology, have nothing but time for tales about ancient Sparta, and considered Sin City to be an excellent and indulgent piece of work. On the latter point, 300 is of course based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel, and if it’s anything like Robert Rodriguez’s adaptation, I’ll be in for a rich visual treat.

On the downside, I think it would be wrong to go in there expecting anything close to a historical document. By all accounts, Miller took the events of the Battle of Thermopylae - based mainly on Herodotus’s account, which was no doubt subject to various instances of literary license and exaggeration - and twisted them into a macho, highly stylized yarn about extreme heroism. What he depicted bears almost no resemblance to what really happened. Though it sounds as though his version of the Spartan way of life - a horror show of gruelling training regimes and sadistic ritual passages, and that was just for the good ones! - is a little more accurate, the events at Thermopylae are nothing more than comic book fluff.

And that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with taking liberties with things that happened nearly 2,500 years ago. The Spartan performance at Thermopylae is the stuff of legend, the sort of thing to be tossed over by the likes of Bettany Hughes in a tight-fitting t-shirt, strolling around the alleged site and declaring that everything she says is subject to the dubious testimony of the time. Ancient politics, the reasons for King Xerxes driving a vast army through Greece, have little meaning for today’s audiences, and there would appear to be no point for concern over the extreme license that makers of the film have taken with the story.

Or so I thought. It turns out that 300 is nothing less than a devious piece of propaganda, designed to turn western audiences psychologically against Iran (the modern day centre of the Persian empire) at a time when relations with America are at their most tense.

‘Such a fabrication of culture and insult to people is not acceptable by any nation or government,” a spokesman for the Iranian government said. ‘[Iran] considers it as hostile behaviour which is the result of cultural and psychological warfare.’

Added to this are the comments of Iranian newspaper, Ayandehno, who had it that ‘In the film Iranians are considered to be monsters devoid of any culture, humanity and wisdom who know nothing except attacking other lands, threatening peace and killing human beings. There is no option other than to confront, fight and destroy this wicked tribe so that the world can be saved from this axis of evil.’

All this is news to me. Granted, I haven’t even seen the film yet, but I didn’t have to scrape my knuckles off the ground too long to realise that it would be very difficult to make any viewers watch a ‘recreation’ of events from 480BC and spot an obvious allegory to current politics. Even before looking at any possible correlation between ancient Persia and modern Iran, there’s the sure fact that though those Spartan warriors might look buff, no one in their right mind would wish to undergo a life verging on masochistic, which is exactly how the city state treated its citizens.

But this is paying the movie too much respect. Its connection with history is loose indeed, and I’m sure the makers had little more planned for their audiences than a collective dropping of jaws at the visuals, which from the trailers look absolutely magnificent. Sin City was cack in terms of its exploration of the human condition. It was all style, with no emotional substance to speak of, and that’s exactly what I’m expecting from 300. Seeing it as any more than this is to do both it, and the people who’ll pay to see it, a great disservice. I imagine that even the most headbanging hardline conservative won’t be persuaded that Iran is evil after a showing of 300. The connection simply isn’t there to be made, and claiming anything to the contrary sounds a bit like a well known cliche that relates mountains and molehills.

Apparently, this isn’t the first time that Hollywood has got itself in hot water with the Muslim world. A fair hoo-ha was sparked by Oliver Stone’s Alexander, in which ‘the Great’ has the temerity to conquer ancient Parthia, just to annoy modern Middle Eastern audiences. And then there was the stink threatened over Kingdom of Heaven, before people watched the thing and realised the bad guys were the Knights Templar, and not Saracen leader, Saladin, who was portrayed as wise and just.

Don’t get me wrong here. It isn’t my intention to belittle anyone for their views, but please, let’s get some perspective. There are better causes than a slice of cinematic hokum, which by all accounts takes its source material from the realm of fantasy long before it pays any attention to the events of antiquity.

In the meantime, my plan is to watch it (my first IMAX experience - how exciting is that!) and then share my thoughts here. Watch out for the review next Thursday!